The Top 5 Masterworks of The Insane Clown Posse

Check out ICP’s newest video, babe. The song itself is actually kind of catchy, which isn’t uncommon for their music. And it seems to capture their genre astutely.
This is music for scared teenagers to listen to at meth parties in the woods.

While it’s a solid entry, I think it misses the top 5 best pieces in their body of work.

And here is my position of expertise on this matter: I am not an Insane Clown Posse fan. Not at all. They call themselves Juggalo’s, and I’m not one of them. I just don’t think their music is very good. I’m not a huge fan of rap in general, so I’m not sure whether or not they are good at rapping. My inclination is to believe that they’re competent, but not prolific. But I think they are very good at what they do. They make a lot of money, I think. And I am hugely entertained by them. They certainly aren’t boring or irrelevant or insignificant.

So I eagerly look forward to any new work by the Insane Clown Posse. When I listen to their music, I can practically smell the cough syrup on their breath as they burp hateful comments into my ears. And I wait all fucking year for the Gathering of the Juggalo’s infomercial to come out.

So that is my coastal-elitist perspective on ICP and the Juggalo’s.

And these, I believe, are the 5 Master Works of the Insane Clown Posse canon.

5. Where’s God? Thomas Acquinas. Richard Dawkins. Violent J. Not only do they challenge the benevolence of God, but ICP present themselves as messiahs to those who have been severely marginalized as a result of socioeconomic injustice, disrupted home lives, and emotional disorders. AKA Juggalo’s, babe.

4. I Hate Her to Death. Pretty much exactly the hero fantasy that every school shooter must experience, right? This is definitely the story of a plucky underdog who finally achieves a warranted sense of justice by massacring the other kids in his high school.

3. Juggalo Island. It’s like a combination of a tailgate party before an Oakland Raiders game and a tailgate party before a Jimmy Buffet concert in Tampa Bay. Except it’s grosser somehow, and way more dangerous, and the drugs are worse. And I’m pretty sure I can hear Smashmouth playing in the background.

2. 2012 Gathering of the Juggalos Infomercial. This was by far the best in the field. I am ready to admit that 2013 was a disappointment. I would like to give it a more thorough review soon but I’m still digesting my feelings on it. 2012 had all the right pieces. A post apocalyptic theme. Sugarslam waving a gun at me. Tons of people addressing me as “Bitch”. “Nature Boy” Ric Flair. Overt misogyny. Toothless people with knives. They're all in there, babe. They make for a robust bouquet.

1. Miracles. I’ve got nothing to say about Miracles that hasn’t been said. It’s their masterpiece. It’s their David. This video is like a motherfucking magnet. How does it work?