Everything Is Awful

Everything is really terrible, and you are a huge part of the problem (no offense). Most of the world is generally a disaster and nobody is doing a god damned thing to help. We'd probably all be better off if an asteroid hit the earth and killed 99% of the population. Honestly– and I'm not trying to be rude, it's just the truth– you make me want to puke.


1. Everything is always changing and I hate it.

Everything was better before you came along (again, no offense) and fucked it all up. It's not just you, of course, but also all of the people like you, which is pretty much everyone.

It's like how SNL used to be great, then it got terrible when you started watching.

That's exactly how the whole world is. 

2. This city is a real dump.

It used to be great, but then people like you came along. I moved to "San Fran" back in 2012 when it still stood for something. Now there's tech bro's! I mean, c'mon guys! Their is a record drought going on and all the tech bro's are riding a google bus! It makes me want to fucking puke. 

As I often like to say: "Umm.... DUH!"


3. Voting is for idiots.

If you think your vote matters, then you are–with all due respect– one dumb piece of garbage.

I frequently like to express my beliefs with regards to religion, politics, and SPCA "kill shelters" (strongly support) but when I do, hardly anybody supports me. I understand that some people are just too cowardly to say what I am saying but I think that some of you also don't understand or just plain don't care. 

It makes me want to spit in your face.  

So why bother voting? Someone will probably just rip up your vote instead of counting it anyways. Let me spell it out for you: your vote doesn't matter and nobody cares what you think!

4. I don't want to hear any more of your negative bullshit.

It's exhausting and not very interesting and I have a lot of things that I want to say, so please don't interrupt me to talk about yourself. 


It's not that hard, people!

5. Everybody hates me.

For no goddamned reason other than the fact that the world is full of judgmental pricks and cowards. On top of that, nobody loves me.

6. Fuck you.

I hate you.


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