Gentrification is everywhere in San Francsico. If you don’t know that means- it’s when white people move into neighborhoods that are doing just fine without them—like the Mission or Hunters Point—and they turn all of the jazz clubs into cupcake shops. Don’t get me wrong, I really like cupcakes and some of them are socially conscious (like if they don’t use gluten and all of the cupcakes are cruelty free) but I still feel like it’s wrong to close down an authentic bacon-wrapped hotdog stand or a family owned check-cashing place just to open another high-end bakery.
When I moved to SF in 2005 it really stood for something, ya know? But now hella people have moved here and tried to co-opt our whole identity. And how about Tech Bro's! I can't be the only one that's noticed how awful they are, right?
There used to be all sorts of really cool groups in this city, like beatniks and hippies and stuff. People who stood for something more important than just an image, people with their own sense of style who embraced the cultural zeitgeist of the time and weren't afraid to show it! But now everyone’s just a hipster and they’re the worst.
I went into Goorin Bro’s to get a new feather for my fedora and there were all these hipsters in there! Now I’m afraid to even wear my fedora to the Barbershop Quartet/Artisanal Gin Festival this weekend because I’m afraid people will look at me like I'm some sort of self-obsessed, trend hopping hipster. Granted, I know a lot of them are just haters who don't even know that I wear this fedora in tribute to this old guy that I met in Brooklyn and we used to play chess in Central Park every Sunday and he used to be a billionaire but then his whole world fell apart when his wife died and he lost all of his money and one day I showed up to play chess against him and he wasn't there and I knew he was gone and the next day I got a call from his lawyer and he told me that he left me his only worldly possession, which was this fedora. Stupid haters. Dumb hipsters.
About the author: Bo McGee was born in raised in Marshfield, Massachusetts, which used to be way cooler when it was full of farms and pilgrims and shit but now it’s just kind of lame because all they have is Dunkin’ Donuts and a boarded-up Blockbuster. Actually, Dunkies is still pretty great.